Monkeys Are Cool

Monkeys are only a few base pairs away from being our brothers. Well, actually they are in the case of some of my friends relatives. "Can we get a back wax over here please!" I think we marvel at them because they are so much like us, but they can get away with things we can't. There have been many times when I would have loved to hurl my poop at someone. Everyday driving home from work in fact. If I could get away with launching a turd in the general direction of every retard on the road, this would be such a better world. The only sticking point is grabbing the steering wheel afterwards. Hmmmm, if I could instantaneously and effectively raise the PSI in my rectum just as someone passed by my scope of view, I could make a clean launch hands free. Fiber is my friend.