I Feel an Asthma Attack Coming

My wife watches hours of Food TV. To me its like going to a strip club. You can look but no touchie. I don't complain though because she cooks for me all the time and she is very good at it. If it wasn't for her I would still be eating PB&J. Actually I still do as a snack. I never get tired of it. Back to Food TV. The show that bothers me the most is Rachel Ray. She's probably the nicest person in the world but when I see her in those tight clothes I just want to take a deep breath for her. I feel like I am suffocating for her by proxy. Hey Rachel, your about to pop a button or two! Tight clothes are dangerous when your cooking and sampling in the kitchen. I am afraid one day at the end of the show she's going to turn blue and kill over. But on the bright side, mouth to mouth might be tasty after all that sampling.