Oralando Spring 2005 Final Chapter

Maybe the rain should have been enough warning. I dunno. This is one day when I should have gone with the flow. So we are finally called and seated. Grace and I order the same pork tenderloin dinner. It was pretty damn good. I inhaled mine and felt comfortably full. That is when I should have walked away, but Grace had an extra piece and asked if I wanted it. I caved to the tasty pleasure and practically swallowed it whole and thats when it happened. A large chunk of pork lodged in the lower part of my esophagus. This was around 6pm. I spent the next hour in and out of the bathroom trying to get it to pass. Forcing water down and having it shoot right back up. Now my esophagus was overproducing mucus, which I threw up every thirty minutes. You could set a watch to it. I can only describe it as a suffocating feeling with dull chest pain. What's more is you really have to let everyone know that you are not choking so get the hell out from behind me this aint no Heimlich moment people. You also have to assure everyone your not having a coronary. I was worried I would have to fend off attacks from the front and rear. I can imagine someone giving me the Heimlich while another performs CPR. Kinda like some twisted porno. Well by now I couldnt take it anymore. We had to leave the park. I really didnt want to go to some backwoods ER. You get kinda spoiled working in the med center. While we waited for the shuttle, I called my doctor in Houston and got the doctor on call. He called in a prescription for me at a Walgreens by my hotel. We took a cab to get the prescription after arriving at the hotel. The pharmacy was closed. Why not, the night is sucking only a little, lets turn it up a notch. I had it filled eventually at a 24 hour Walgreens, took the meds at the hotel, but no dice. I took another dose and the pork continued to taunt me. All I got was a codeine like mellow feeling. Ill take anything at this point. It is now midnight. Six hours of undigested pork lodged in my esophagus. I swear I heard it say I aint goin down this way punk. I called the doc again and I got the answer I knew was coming, go to the ER. Luckily it was across the parking lot from the hotel. No more 20-dollar cab rides. Once inside I was pretty impressed. That place was clean, well lit, and friendly. The initial service was fast. I was escorted to a room/stall and worked up and IV'd. I initially was given nitro in the hope that it would relax the soft muscle of the esophagus. All I got was an immediate head rush and headache. I was told that if this didn't work it was off to GI for the scope. In fact he made a call to the G.I. doc on call. No answer. Minutes turn to hours. Finally a reply. Wrong doctor on call. There was a mix up with who was on call. So very reassuring. I have a 9am flight. I was told no problem youll make it. But, should I call and change the time. No, dont worry. It is now 7am. Thirteen hours with a large pork bolus lodged in my swallowing tube. Its a party man and the pork is all mine. Well by now the regular G.I. doc has made it in and I'm wheeled up to G.I. By now Im really ready to get this meat moving. They gave me some real good drugs. All I remember is coughing a few times and waking up feeling 100 percent better. Grace had postponed our flight and we were able to stay in the room for another half day. Oh but how we slept. We later woke up, packed, caught a shuttle and boarded the flight. Lesson number one. Taught by all of us since birth by our mothers. Chew your frikin food people! Fibrous meats just dont pass when swallowed hole unless you're a championship Japanese eating contest professional. Take note of the above picture. Most importantly the upper left corner which is public offender number one, the pork bolus. For the less faint of heart, click on the picture for more detail. An interesting point: Notice the diagnosis at the bottom of each picture. A tech was told I had a foreign body in my esophagus. Notice what he typed in. Im glad he wasn't doing the procedure. Shouldn't you at least have a working knowledge of the english language if you are in a procedure room?