Kentucky Fried Christmas

In Japan they call Colonel Sanders, "Kentucky Ogisan". Translated: "Kentucky Grandpa".
During the Christmas season they dress up Kentucky Ogisan like Santa Clause. Of course if you have ever been to Japan you would understand their confusion with Western things. Only about 1% of the population is Christian so they celebrate Christmas just like it was another one of their many festivals. Another fact about Japan: They love festivals which leads me to believe their sister city in the U.S. is probably San Francisco.

Dating Tips From Chuck Norris

Chuck says: Never kiss on the first date. This will make the women folk think you are a wienie. A good roundhouse kick to the kisser will let her know how much you really care.

Horse Teeth Thursday

Oh Mr. Ed forgive me. These chompers are out of control. Who ever told Hillary that porcelain veneers look great? This is the new addiction that needs to head south. What ever happened to braces and brushing? And Gary, I have about forty acres I need cleared by Monday buddy.

Enternashunal Dawg uf Mistrie

My parents at one time owned a miniature dachshun. They named him bubba and lets just say the name fit him well. I used to see (when I was bored of course) how many ways I could say his name. It slowly evolved into the question: What if Bubba was like James Bond? How would his name be pronounced around the world? Here is my list. Feel free to add to it.
1. France-Beaux Beaux
2. Spain-Babasito
3. Italy-Babalino
4. Japan-Babasan
5. Poland-Bubinski
6. Russia-Bubov
7. Pakistan-BakqBakq
8. Germany-Unt Bubben
9. Israel-Bubbastein
10.Saudi-Alibubba
11.Australia-Beh Beh
12.Antartica-Burr Burr
13.Elvis-Hubba Bubba
14.The Bronx-Yo Dawg

White Trash Wednesday

Is Britney white trash by association or by genetics? Nature vs nurture, etc.

Another Great Use for Flip Flops

Impressions

I want these flip flops. Anyone know where I can get these trailer park treasures? I heard you have to eat 4lbs of spam a day for 6 months to qualify, otherwise you won't be able to leave a proper SPAM impression behind. If you are really dedicated you will eat 10lbs a day for 12 months and then you will be able to leave impressions on concrete, provided your knees don't snap.

Jacks Got Holiday Balls

Ever wonder why Jack always has a grin on his face. It's because he's got lots of balls and he dresses them up and sells them for a profit. Genius! If you act now, you can get them in holiday gear. Can I get mine with mistletoe?