Thursday, July 31, 2008

Devil Dogs Rule the Earth

Contrary to our friend Ms Slack, Devil Dogs kick ass. Not HoHos, not DingDongs or FunnyBones, but yes my friends...Devil Dogs moist rich creamy filling beetwixt two lovely folds of chocolate cake.

Wednesday, July 30, 2008

Beavis Las Vegas

In a fit of rage late last night at the Pink Flamingo. Beavis aka "The Great Cornholio" got all up in the grill and bitch slapped one Bobby Barnferber for claiming he was the original Cornholio. Bobby's only reply to the chargers were "that bitch got some long finger nails." Beavis denied the nail accusation and said he was probably a cutter and since he doesn't have arms maybe his large forehead gave him relief.

Tuesday, July 29, 2008

Can I Borrow a Cup O Milk

Dinky Donuts: I was always confused as a child with the Purina symbol on the cereal and the dog food.
MR. T: I never thought of Mr. T as crispy and sweet. Well maybe crispy.

Does this include Ass Gas Mr. Woodsy? And just how did you get your name? Is it short for Woodward?

Monday, July 28, 2008

Im Having a Chaka Monday

Friday, July 25, 2008

More Vegas Mania

Y'all Know Who You Be

Tuesday, July 22, 2008

In Sunny Las Vegas at the PICS Conference, I'm a Conventioneer!

Friday, July 18, 2008

For Dick, May the Doug Be With You.

Be sure to pick up your flavored communion wafers on the way out at the gift shop.

Monday, July 14, 2008

Sportin the new summer Dew

Shortest I have ever gone. Would have gone all the way but afraid my hair won't grow back. Come on people Houston is fucking hot. I will get back to the Gar dew in the fall just in time for the pillaging of the villages season.

Tuesday, July 08, 2008

Dream Big

When I was a wee lad I wanted to grow up and be a rock star just like the captain. If I were lucky after several hits on the road I would score a saucy wench worthy of my company such as Tennille. We would be making muskrat love all the way to the bank.

Monday, July 07, 2008

Tips for the Catholic Church to increase Sunday attendance

I have great ideas I would like to someday present to the Pope. As we all know over the years the attendance at mass has suffered. I will list a few of my ideas to help increase the numbers during the hot summer months:
1. Offer a holy guacamole dip for that dry communion wafer. Heck, we already have the wine to wash it down.
2. Try out new flavored communion wafers at mass like sour cream and onion or BBQ and sell the most popular ones at the gift shop.
3. How about a slice of lemon in the holy water?

Wednesday, July 02, 2008

Revenge on the Jimmy

Why that Jimmy, I will get him one day. I have a plan and it goes like this...